Starting a new life together is both wonderful and frightening.
We were two individuals with different backgrounds, educations, personalities, and desires coming together to form a new household with new routines, new priorities and new adjustments. It takes time for those things to develop and become a happy home. A happy home is what we both wanted, but we didn’t know exactly how to get there.
We loved one another, but we were unsure as to how our roles of being a husband and a wife would emerge. We did not argue a lot, but there seemed to be unspoken undercurrent of who was going to be the head of the household. I think I saw it as the husband was to lead and take responsibility. I think Terrie probably agreed with that, but had some uncertainty that I had the ability to do that. Her father was definitely in charge of their household and had proven record of being able to take care of Terrie and her family.
Perhaps the uncertainly was because my approach was that we would take each day as they came without thought about consequence or planning to accomplish anything. To be honest, a day at a time was about all that I could handle, much less having to think about tomorrow. I still try to take each day at a time, but I now know about being responsible for someone else’s care. Now I understand the God has a plan for me and Terrie and will take care of us. I try to think things through and try to please the Lord by following what He has taught us in His Word, The Holy Bible.
We met in May 1970 and were married in May 1974. During that time we both tried to please one another and be what the other needed. Our biggest problem has been communication. Sometimes, it seemed like we were speaking two different languages. The results would be misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Naturally that is not what we wanted to happen. As I have analyzed why we would have had trouble communicating, I think the problem was with me and the fact that I had a furious temper before Christ changed my heart.
I am the guy who broke the windshield of my car with my fist when Terrie called me the name of her former boyfriend on accident, I have punched a brick wall in frustration at work, I broke the siding on my Mom’s house after a tornado came close when she told me it was just wind. I have never struck Terrie but I have created an atmosphere of fear for her when I would get angry. I can certainly see how that would cause confusion for her and make it difficult to talk to me. It breaks my heart to know that I unintentionally caused her “to walk on egg shells”. I think she would tell you that God changed me considerably after my salvation. Any miscommunication now would be because she wants to please me and may have a difficult time knowing what I want.
As I am writing this, I am aware that tomorrow, will be our forty-first wedding anniversary. We have changed in many ways. We have lost loved ones, we have faced some battles and uncertainty, and we have had joys and been heart-broken. But through it all, God has been faithful to us and we have been faithful to one another.
Loyalty and faithfulness is paramount in my life. I have seen the hurt that unfaithfulness has caused and I have seen how being faithful strengthens a marriage. When I reflect on Terrie’s love for me, I see a pure love. It must be as God loves me. It humbles me and makes me want to do my best to please her.
I have been criticized for spoiling her. I admit it; I try very hard to spoil her. I see someone lonely, without her immediate family; she has physical limitations that she works hard to overcome. She loves the Lord and she loves me. Why wouldn’t I want to make her life as good as possible? She is my best friend. She is my love. She is my life. She is my purpose.
Well, this story has taken a turn, I wasn’t expecting. I will pick up the Early Years in Part 2. Until then.