Things I Learned At Walmart #2

walmart-logoThings I learned at Walmart today…

  1. Short & wide people should not wear cargo shorts when the bottom of the pants are a about 6″ off the ground. It does not enhance their body image, at all.
  2. Yoga pants can show cellulite
  3. Tattoos are still very popular
  4. Mommy jeans are still worn by some
  5. There a number of people who walk by the shopping carts and have to return to get one. What were they thinking, “Hey, I can carry all that stuff, but what if I get a text message?”
  6. I didn’t realize there were as many short people in our world
  7. Some people try to look presentable, others don’t
  8. Some women have really big feet, that are dry and cracked.  Lotions are located in the pharmacy area.
  9. 99.3% of women do not look good in asymmetrical cut clothing.
  10. Walmart would be a good source for movie character actors
  11. Central American men walking on their tiptoes are interesting
  12. Is it to early in the season for Ugg boots?
  13. What can be done for fat back cleavage?
  14. I thought I saw Gailard Sartain’s cousin wearing a green tee shirt, green camo cargo shorts and bright blue athletic shoes.
  15. I think I will try to invent a electronic body sanitizer for people walking in the front door.
  16. I think the people walking around talking to themselves are crazy, some of them say they are on the phone, but I don’t they have accepted their problem yet.
  17. And finally, the answer is “No” from the Walmart associate when you ask them to pile all the chocolate they have on you as you lay on the floor. Apparently, you must buy it all before those arrangements may be made.

(originally posted on my Facebook timeline 10.17.15)

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