I have been listening to all of the Valentine’s Day advertisements on the radio about e
xpressing your love for “that special someone”, as they refer them in the ad’s.
Naturally, I first think of my love and not having her with me. What fun we had together! I loved to make her laugh, to entertain her, to just look at her and be with her. She liked it when she would make me laugh. She was really quite funny. As we would be driving along, I might get bored with what was on the radio and change it to a station that would have a funky beat or a sixties oldies. Terrie would start with a chair dance, which consisted of just moving her arms and head. It would always crack me up and she was delighted to make me really laugh.
Secondly, I have been thinking about the other people I know, who have walked before me without their loved ones. I have looked at them to help me and to guide me through their council and through their actions. I have listened to hearts that are still broken and hurting, but they have been tempered with a strength that tells me, “You can make it.” They still love and want to be loved. They are guarded, in not wanting to be hurt or to miss the Lord’s path for them. Some have children and family to help ease the pain. Others may be more limited.
They too, have had to ride out the emotional storms, the “E” bombs, and as someone called them, the uninvited guest of loneness and despair. I have be fortunate enough to have had a way of expressing myself, through writing. Some may have other ways of relieving the weight of their sorrow.
Together, we form an unofficial group. Some may apply names to their group, but I don’t think it is necessary. The hurting seem to know their own. We understand when another is hurting, we just know. There is a comradery, much like with cancer survivors. Some may not want to acknowledge it, because it removes a scab that was just starting to heal again.
I am certainly not a spokesman for a group, but as an observer who has been added to the group. If asked, I wondered what I would want others to know about us. Obviously, I can only speak for myself. Others may add or subtract from the list, but I would say I would like to still be treated in the same way I was before Terrie died. I know there will be that transition time of expressing sympathy, etc., but I don’t need to be ignored or for you to feel awkward around me. During the transition time, I will need some special considerations because my emotions have been torpedoed. I am trying to make decisions and adjustments that seem a lot bigger than before. So I ask for patience on your part. As wacky as it sounds, I need special considerations, at the same time, treating me as I was before.
I am trying to adjust to a new life; an empty life. Do you remember the old Supremes song, “My World Is Empty Without You”. The writer of the lyrics had a bit of insight to how humans feel at times like these. They wrote: My world is empty without you, babe / My world is empty without you, babe / And as I go my way alone / I find it hard for me to carry on / I need your strength /I need your tender touch /
I need the love, my dear / I miss so much / My world is empty without you, babe /My world is empty without you, babe /
From this old world /I try to hide my face /From this loneliness /There’s no hiding place /Inside this cold and empty house I dwell /In darkness with memories I know so well /
Those words describe the feeling I get, but it’s not the whole story. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I have the Holy Spirit living in my heart. He, the Holy Spirit provides c
omfort and rest to my soul. He walks with me and helps me live each day. That is not to say the day will not have pain or sorrow. It may have that and more, but there is also hope.
So this Valentine’s Day, I am giving thanks. Thanks that I have had someone love me for the majority of my life and I loved her with the same intensity as she loved me. Thanks that I have family and friends who still love me. And thanks for a God who has always loved me, even before the foundations of the world began. I choose to rejoice. I choose to share the love that He has given to us. Love is such a wonderful blessing!!