This will be the last post I will write for this month. With this post is a link to everything that I have posted on this blog since Terrie died. The purpose of the link to show a wavy, crooked line of grief and progress.
I think it’s been the longest six months of my life. Definitely, the most painful. Even having cancer four times, has not compared to the frustration, agony, blackness of losing the one human at the center of my life.
I hope that I have gone to the bottom of the hole and that I am on the way up again, but through it all, the Lord has sustained me and been with me. His love, grace, and mercy has provided for me. He is teaching me in a classroom occupied by many, in the School of Grief.
I am learning about patience, trusting, relying, walking by faith in a class called “Baby Steps.” I hate the class, but I have been told it is a prerequisite to moving forward.
I am learning about contentment, humility, and the dangers of pride. It’s in the shop class, where hammers and screwdrivers, and pliers are used to straighten up what was damaged long ago.
I am learning in Geography about when my world crumbles, My God is my refuge and strength and is a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46) and I am to be still and know that He is God and is with me.
I am learning in Accounting that the Lord gives and He takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. (Job 1:21)
And I am learning about giving thanks and being thankful. 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
I hope through this that you will have a better understanding about the “highway of grief” and that you will see that we do not walk alone.
I ask for your prayers for next week. Monday, the 23rd will mark six months since Terrie died. Wednesday, the 25th would have been our forty-second anniversary. I am trying to “lean into” the coming waves, knowing I am in His hands.