There is a billboard on the interstate near downtown Oklahoma City that reads “Dare To Dream”. Since I’m driving 60 miles an hour, that’s about all I can read. It may have something to do with a home mortgage or something like that, but I’m not sure.
I have been thinking about those three words for a couple of days now and wondered if I dare to dream or has life killed that desire.
My first thoughts were, what would restrict one from dreaming and my answer was fear. Fear of not being able to reach that dream. Fear of “perhaps it’s too big for someone like me” to accomplish. I recall when I was recuperating from my “big surgery” (22 hours), my doctor wanted me to do two things before I was allowed to go home. I had to first start walking down the halls of the hospital. The first day’s goal was 100 steps. A physical therapist was called to help me. He placed a wide belt around my waist and we started down the hallway. I walked about 130 steps. The second thing was he asked me to sit in a chair for about an hour. I wanted to show him I could do it and I was determined to sit up until he came in. Four hours later, he came in saying, “You over did it, didn’t you?” I guess the nurse snitched on me. I mention those two things to indicate that I have wanted to go big and achieve.
But what about now?
After the “big surgery”, I had colon cancer, which resulted in a successful surgery to remove the tumor. A year later, I had colon cancer in the lungs. That required going through chemo and the side effects of that. I’m pleased to say that I have been cancer free for over a year. A year and nine months ago, my wife and best friend passed away, leaving me alone. Were these things dream killers?
Living alone has been a great challenge. I am social. I need and thirst for the energy from others. I pray and seek God’s will daily for what He has for me. Dare I dream for someone new to love?
20 Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. 21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. 2 Timothy 2:20-21 NASB
Yesterday, I got a card in the mail from a church member. The card referred to this 2 Timothy passage. It was encouraging me to continue being a vessel of honor. What a humbling thought, that others may see me in that light.
I honestly do not know what the Lord has for me, but I know He knows my desires. Do those desires align with His will for me? Will he use me with or without a woman at my side? Yes, I think He will, but I must surrender my desires / will to His.
Do I dare to dream for a new companion? Yes. Do I dare to dream to be a vessel of honor? Rarely, but I will be. Dare I dream to be useful to the Master? I must.