Things I Learned At Walmart #2

walmart-logoThings I learned at Walmart today…

  1. Short & wide people should not wear cargo shorts when the bottom of the pants are a about 6″ off the ground. It does not enhance their body image, at all.
  2. Yoga pants can show cellulite
  3. Tattoos are still very popular
  4. Mommy jeans are still worn by some
  5. There a number of people who walk by the shopping carts and have to return to get one. What were they thinking, “Hey, I can carry all that stuff, but what if I get a text message?”
  6. I didn’t realize there were as many short people in our world
  7. Some people try to look presentable, others don’t
  8. Some women have really big feet, that are dry and cracked.  Lotions are located in the pharmacy area.
  9. 99.3% of women do not look good in asymmetrical cut clothing.
  10. Walmart would be a good source for movie character actors
  11. Central American men walking on their tiptoes are interesting
  12. Is it to early in the season for Ugg boots?
  13. What can be done for fat back cleavage?
  14. I thought I saw Gailard Sartain’s cousin wearing a green tee shirt, green camo cargo shorts and bright blue athletic shoes.
  15. I think I will try to invent a electronic body sanitizer for people walking in the front door.
  16. I think the people walking around talking to themselves are crazy, some of them say they are on the phone, but I don’t they have accepted their problem yet.
  17. And finally, the answer is “No” from the Walmart associate when you ask them to pile all the chocolate they have on you as you lay on the floor. Apparently, you must buy it all before those arrangements may be made.

(originally posted on my Facebook timeline 10.17.15)

Things I Learned At Walmart #1

walmart-logoThings I learned at Walmart today…

  1. A lot of women have very poor taste in clothing
  2. There are a lot of people who walk with a limp
  3.  It must be okay not to shave before going into the store (Male or Female)
  4.  You would think even kids would know not to lay on their floor
  5.  Their restrooms are horrid
  6.  Some parents allow their children to get haircuts that make them look like idiots
  7.  Sure a lot of tattoos
  8.  Sure a lot of cleavage
  9.  Small Asian men look funny in pink hats
  10.  Kids in shopping carts are essential (it keeps them off the floor)
  11.  Sure a lot of NASCAR fans shop there
  12.  Not all guys look good with facial hair
  13. Those who dress decently stand out
  14. Old bald men with long hair on the sides, look like they live under a bridge
  15. Yoga pants should be outlawed on anyone 10 lbs overweight
  16. Yoga pants can cause some other men to have sinful thoughts
  17.  Walmart employee’s look tired
  18.  Not everyone in there is clean, be careful!
  19.  Make up could help a lot of women
  20.  I don’t care for male cashiers having their fingernails painted green
  21.  Few people pay with cash
  22.  Looking at a pallet full of chocolate is not healthy for you after thirty minutes
  23. People would fight over getting a electric cart that is charged up
  24. and finally, GOD CREATED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US!!!!

(originally posted on my Facebook timeline 2.21.15)